A fundamental truth is that you tend to treat your own inner child in much the same way that your parents treated you as a child. For better or worse, you internalise your parents' attitudes and behaviours. If they were overly critical toward you, you likely grew up overly self-critical,especially of your "childish" or less rational, impulsive side. If they neglected you, you likely grew up tending to ignore or neglect the needs of your own inner child. If they were too busy for you as a child, you're likely too busy for your inner child as an adult.
To cultivate a healing, caring relationship with your own inner child—to become a good parent to yourself—you need to overcome any internalised parental attitudes that cause you to criticise, abuse, neglect, or deny the needs and feelings of your child within.
The concept of the inner child—the childlike part of yourself—has been around for many decades.
But what is it?
It’s that part of you which feels like a little girl or boy.
It’s that part of you which feels and expresses your deepest emotional needs for security, trust, nurturing, affection, and touch.
It’s that part of you which is alive, energetic, creative, and playful (much like real children are when left free to play and be themselves).
The pain and trauma from your childhood often manifest as strong feelings of insecurity, loneliness, fear, anger, shame, or guilt. These emotions, even when triggered by present circumstances, originate from your inner child. Most intense feelings are not new; they reflect how we reacted—or failed to react—as children.
Source:The Anxiety &Phobia Workbook-Edmund J. Bourne.
Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash
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